Crock Pot Apple Butter

Apple butter has no butter in it. I know, I know. Your mind is blown. You are welcome. Instead it is just a wonderful buttery like substance that comes from cooking down the apples with the right amount of spices and water. And then blending until perfection. It's easy.

This is how you take this:

And turn it into this:

And  yes, even with them being little apples. And even with them having bad spots (or some of them being that bad) you can turn them into delicious apple butter. Listen carefully, kids. (I'm kidding. It's so easy you don't even have to pay attention.)

• Get some minions. Have them core, peel, and cut the apples. I make them into smaller chunks because...well, my apples are small. It's easier that way. Plus, less blending.
• Throw the apples into a huge bowl. 

I used probably 30-35 of these small apples that someone graciously donated my way so I could figure out how to make excellent apple butter. I would imagine that a dozen or dozen and a half "normal" sized apples would suffice.

• The trick is take the amount of mixture I'm about to lay forth and make sure the apples are coated thoroughly. Not sprinkled upon. Coated. That's the trick, folks. They need to look brown and tasty. If you have extra "stuff" leftover after you coat your apples? Cut another. Seriously. Just do it. (If you need more to make them look coated? Make some. You seriously can't mess this up. Throw in a spoon of brown sugar, a pinch of cinnamon and half a pinch of allspice and go!)

2/3 cup brown sugar

2 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon allspice

• After you have coated them thoroughly, throw them in the crock pot. Take the bowl you were thinking about licking and don't. Instead add 1 cup of water. Swish around to get every speck of tastiness and then dump it into the crock pot. Stir it around. There should be enough water to at least cover the bottom of the crock pot. The apples do NOT need to all be covered.

• I cook mine on med or med/high until I go to bed and then turn it down to low. In the morning it will look like tarry, sticky (barely juicy) mess, more than likely. If it doesn't? Pop the lid and vent it and cook on high for a bit longer until it does. If you have too much juice (This has only happened to me once) just use a slotted spoon to remove everything else. Or strain it and reserve the juice in case your apple butter needs more liquid (mine didn't but you can never be too careful I suppose.)
  
• I have a ninja food processor. So I just throw it all in there and blend for maybe 20 seconds and it's butter consistency. Use your immersion blender or counter top blender the same way.  

Voila. Seriously. That easy.

Feel free to tell me how wonderful your version was.

I will say I used a Splenda blend on one batch and no one knows the difference. It tastes just the same to me, for sugar content conscious folks.

It is seriously that easy. And while it's good right away? It is even better after you put it into the fridge and let it get cold. It will firm up wonderfully and the spices seem to marry even more. It's fabulous on toast, biscuits, English muffin - pretty much anything.

I was given a ton of zuchinni around the same time and was making mass amounts of zuke bread, too. I had a few people put it on their loaf of zuchinni bread and rave about it, too.

Sausage Stuffed Acorn Squash

I have a food problem. Meaning I am one of those people who will fill your Facebook feed with pictures of what I am cooking. I feel like I should apologize, but I just don't. Because it usually is amazing food. So...you're welcome? Instead of I'm sorry...? Heh.

This particular picture was met with many - "ew, that looks gross." or "What is that?" or "Interesting...?" instead of the usual "That looks great!" I would like to pretend that this swayed me not to post this here. But I can't, not. Because a.) It's tasty b.) It's easy. So ignore the fact that you think it looks gross (it isn't pretty, I won't pretend it is...) and just try it!

Ingredients:
2 Acorn Squash
1 lb. breakfast sausage
1 medium onion
2 stalks of celery
1/3 cup sour cream


Other Utensils:
Skillet
Knife
Wooden Spoon
Cutting Board
Baking Dish large enough to fit all 4 halves of squash

Directions 

 

Preheat oven to 400 degrees  

 

Cut acorn squash in half and scoop out seeds

 

Cover bottom of baking dish with water (just enough to barely cover the bottom)

 

Place squash into pan cut side down

 

Cook for 35-40 minutes (until it is almost fork tender when you remove it from oven)

 

While that cooks

 

Brown one pound of sausage with onion and celery, making sure to crumble it as it cooks

 

Remove from heat when cooked and stir in sour cream 

 

When acorn squash is fork tender, stuff them with the meat mixture

Return to oven for 15 minutes until heated through

 

Enjoy!

GLUTEN NOTE: Gluten free is easy here. But as always, check your ingredients to make sure there are no hidden things you weren't aware of. 

HEALTHY NOTE: I usually use turkey sausage and a low-fat sour cream just to make it healthier as you go along. But it is just as delicious without these modifications, I imagine.

Fruit Cobbler

I agonized over what to call this. For a lot of reasons. First, it's not REALLY a cobbler that most people think of. Second I could have called it "Blackberry Cobbler" or "Blueberry Cobbler" or "Peach and Raspberry Cobbler" Or "Berry Cobbler" (which would include blueberries, raspberries, blackberries) or I could have called it "Black and Blue Cobbler" (with blackberries and blueberries) .... the possibilities are pretty endless with this dish. I have made it with most fruit imaginable and it's amazing. Just try not to eat the whole thing because it isn't exactly healthy. But I have cut down the sugar and butter from when I first saw/tried/fell in love with the recipe from the Pioneer Lady. Check out her recipe here because: credit where credit is due.

Ingredients:
1 cup milk (almond/soy/your favorite substitute works fine here)
1/2 cup butter (that's one stick)
1 cup Self-Rising Flour
About 2 cups of fruit of your choosing (I prefer fresh but frozen will work as well)
1 cup + 3 tablespoons sugar (or splenda/sweetner of your choosing)
Cooking spray (I prefer to use something like a coconut spray, myself)

Other Utensils:
Bowl
Microwave safe bowl
2 quart baking dish (shallow is better)
Spoon for stirring (a whisk if you're feeling ultra cooking show-ish)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Melt butter in a microwave safe bowl

Stir together one cup sugar and one cup self-rising flour.

Stir in one cup of milk.

Pour melted butter into bowl with other ingredients and stir.

Spray baking dish with cooking spray.

Pour the batter into the baking dish.

Scatter fruit around the top evenly.

Shake remaining sugar on top of the fruit.

Bake for one hour until the cobbler is golden brown and bubbly.

Serve. Try not to eat entire dish all at once.

I usually serve mine with fresh whipped cream because if you're going to go? Go big or go home. But it's also tasty with low-fat, sugar-free frozen yogurt, a plain vanilla ice cream, or even cool-whip in a pinch.


Tips: First, I substitute most if not all of the sugar for something like Splenda, often. I don't even usually use the 3 tablespoons of sugar on top (her original tasty recipe calls for 1/4 cup there) and just sprinkle some lightly on the top. I sometimes will use soy milk instead of regular milk, as well. The tree nut allergy prevents me from using an almond milk, but I would imagine that's an added health benefit as well as just as tasty. I cut the butter from greasing the pan and used a coconut spray just because this dish was already so full of sugar/butter/tastiness that I was trying to save flavor and make it a bit healthier.

But I'll tell you another secret - her recipe is fantastic. I fell in love with how easy and wonderful it was and almost felt bad "messing" with it. But with diabetic friends/family eating it and attempting to not go buy bigger clothes on my end? I had to try a few little tweaks here and there. And it still turns out tasty. Although, I really believe that nothing will kill you in moderation. (Problem is: her recipe is so good there's no moderation for me there!)

Pro tip: This really is amazing. I can say that because it isn't like I thought it up all on my own. I have taken to doubling the recipe, at this point, and making it in a 13X9 pan so that I have enough to go around if there are more than a few people that stick around to eat this after dinner. 

Corn Dog Pie

I feel absolutely ridiculous and terrible even pretending to call this a recipe. Because it's that easy, folks. No joke. I try to cook healthier (I don't pretend it's healthy, just healthier choices here and there) but this does not fall into that category. This is a corn dog, In a pie. No one is pretending that corn dogs are good for you. But they are one thing: tasty. And so is this.

The basic premise is this: Take your favorite corn bread recipe, chop hot dogs and add them into the mixture. Pour it into pans and cook. Done. Tastes great. I'm sure someone else had done this before. But I had made corn dog muffins before (too much cinnamon, they were terrible. Think: cinnamon flavored hot dog. Ew.) and I can make a mean corn muffin or even homemade corn bread. But I wanted a corn dog, and I wanted it to be easy and less messy than trying to make them into muffins and make sure each one had enough hot dog, etc. So voila. I thought I was a genius, at the time. I'm sure I wasn't and this has been made 1,000 times over.

Tip: I would make this with my favorite corn bread recipe. Which I will post for you sometime soon. But this night I was lazy and just used a Jif box for corn bread. I suggest if you are pressed for time, like I was? Do it. It's just as good and you'll appreciate the sleep you have later. I'm all about making things fresh and making them from scratch as often as you can. But again, I was craving a corn dog. So I wasn't - clearly - thinking about healthy and awesome. I was just thinking tasty. This worked. So again, here's the "recipe" but I hesitate to even call it that!

Ingredients:
2 packages of your favorite cornbread muffin mix (or homemade, recipe to follow)
**Follow their recipe for making the bread, this recipe was for Jif's**
2 eggs
2/3 cup milk
6 hot dogs
Cooking Spray

Other Utensils:
2 8inch round pans
Fork
Spoon
Spatula

Directions

Preheat oven according to your recipe's indication (Mine is for Jif, again and it was 400 degrees)

Mix eggs and milk

Stir in both boxes dry ingredients

Cut hot dogs into small rounds (throw ends to the dogs if you are like me and won't eat them. Don't ask....)

Fold hot dogs into corn bread mixture

Spray cooking pans

Distribute evenly into both pans

Cook for 15 minutes and check them (toothpick should come clean when inserted in the middle)

Take out

Be ashamed it was that easy

Let cool for 5 minutes (at least)

Cut

Enjoy with ketchup and/or mustard and pretend you are at the county fair

Tell all your friends how fancy you are for having made corn dog pie

I would imagine that you don't really want to follow that last step. Or if so omit the word "fancy" from the sentence. Just tell them you made it. Heh. 

Black Bean and Corn Tortilla Bake

I try to make a few meat free options when possible. Because why not? Also beans are fabulous. Especially black beans when you mix them with corn. So when I found a recipe much like this one (I have only done a little tweaking) in a cookbook my mother bought me for Christmas a few years ago, I knew I had to try it. 

The chopping and prep time for this was a little much. In terms of time before you actually cook the dish. So don't worry, I thought "ugh" as well. But there IS a payoff. Also some of it could be prepped earlier in a day or even the day before, I would imagine. And then you could throw it all together. It's most definitely worth it. I'm debating on making the "filling" just for rollups inside romaine lettuce or to put on top of rice for easy lunches. That's how good it is. Summation: It's worth it, trust me!

Ingredients:
1 large onion
1 medium green pepper
1 shallots (or garlic clove if you aren't a vampire and don't have shallots)     

1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cans (15 oz each) black beans
1 can (14-15 oz) vegetable broth
1 package (10 oz) frozen corn * thawed
4 green onions
Flour tortillas
1 cup shredded cheese (any kind would work)
Cooking Spray

Other Utensils:
Cutting board
Knife
Skillet
Spring form pan (I used non- spring form, it's just messier, but doable)
Spoons
Colander 

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. 

Chop onions, shallots, and green peppers (Author's note: You know how you always want a way to chop onions without crying? My sister has found the perfect solution. ....are you ready for it? Just let your big sister do the chopping. She was a very good supervisor. I only cried once. It was the onions, not her management tactics, I think. )

Heat oil in skillet and add onions, shallots, green peppers, cumin, and pepper to the skillet. Just heat until a bit tender.

Rinse the black beans. 

Add beans and vegetable broth to veggies in skillet. Bring the mixture to a boil. You will boil in until the liquid is almost gone. (That's a pretty exact measurement for you. Almost gone.) 

In the meantime, grab your green onions and slice them thinly.

Since you're bored and waiting for the liquid to vanish from your skillet feel free to add the corn and green onions together as they look so pretty in the same bowl, don't they? Not necessary...but hey, it's your cooking show. Do it how you like. 

When liquid is almost gone from your tasty concoction, stir in the green onions and corn mixture. Remove from heat. (Marvel at how tasty it looks. Feel free to grab a spoon and try it out. Because, seriously - it's good....)  

Here's where it gets messy. Grab a round pan. Springform would be best, but I didn't have one and so oh well. Which means my tiny 6 inch tortillas were a little bit too small. Just adds to the fun of trying to put it together. Who needs perfection?

Spray the round pan with a little cooking spray. 

Start your layering. It should go like this. 

Tortilla

Mixture

Cheese

Tortilla

Mixture

Cheese

Tortilla

Mixture 

Cheese

Tortilla

Cheese

I was messy. I only got two layers out of it and then I made two pans instead of one. Either way it's going to be tasty. Here's my messy little thing before it went into the oven and then after. 

To get from picture A to picture B just throw it into the oven for 17-20 minutes. It should be heated through and the cheese should be melty and fabulous. And when you cut it should look all messy and fantastic like: 

Tips: I am looking for a healthier tortilla for the next time I make these. The carbs and calories in a regular tortilla are a bit out there if you're trying to eat healthy. But if you eat a slice or two of this? I wouldn't worry. It's when you want to eat the whole thing you have some issues, I think.  (Which I wanted to.)

A gluten free version would definitely be possible if you used a corn tortilla or if you used another gluten free option. Or just skip the tortilla, make the filling, and enjoy. It's fantastic.

 

Easy Slow-Cooker Pot Roast

Ingredients:
1 medium sized beef roast
1 packet of dried onion soup mix
1 can or small bottle of soda/pop/coke
salt and pepper



Other Utensils:
Slow cooker
Fork

Directions

Salt and pepper the roast on both sides 

Add to slow cooker

Empty one packet of onion soup mix over meat

 

Pour coke over the meat

 

 

This is the part where it fizzes and I feel slightly like a mad scientist and cackle maniacally 

(feel free to improvise here and become your character..)

  

Cook on low for 6+ hours

That's really it. You eat it. You love it. You think - "Wow, that was easy. I should never tell anyone how easy that was..."

If you're around, turn the roast every so often, but I've found that isn't really imperative. And when you do turn it near the end? Be prepare for it to fall apart and be so tender you lose chunks in the process. As evidence I submit the following picture to the jury:

The only evidence of this that exists is photographic. And it was hard to wait to take the picture and not just to eat it. But then I did. I thought of you all while doing so. So that has to count for something, right?

Seriously. It's that easy. And that fabulous. Serve it with whatever you want! Mashed potatoes. Rice. Boiled potatoes. Veggies.

Soon I will make a post that outlines the crazy things we do with the leftovers from a roast. Usually we make Italian beefs or BBQ beef. But it's one roast that usually makes two to three (separate but equally amazing) dinners.

Note: I used Diet Coke here to cut out sugars, sure, but mainly because it was what I had on hand. You can use regular Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, anything in place of it. I could go on about how it tenderizes the meat and caramelizes some of the onion flavor - but do you care or do you just want to eat? Just eat it.

Gluten Tip: Lipton's was gluten-free for as long as I can remember. But they had reformulated and added barley. I'm unsure if that's still the case or not. Feel free to read up on it: here. And if you're looking to make sure the onion soup mix is totally gluten free here is a good recipe for that.

Gluten Free Onion Soup Mix

3/4 cup instant minced onion
1/3 cup beef bouillon powder
4 teaspoons onion powder
1/4 teaspoon crushed celery seed
1/4 teaspoon sugar

One package = 5 tablespoons.

Onion Soup Recipe Credit: Food.com  I've used it once and found it to be a great substitute. 

Dill Dip (and Dressing!)

In my last post I told you about this fabulous recipe that had shown up on my Facebook page for baked zucchini. We loved it! The dip that the original poster made (find her blog here) was fantastic. We cut back just the amount of one ingredient, added a bit more of one, and instead of season salt (as that has the dreaded garlic I have to avoid in it) we used a regular sea salt. It was fantastic! I think I owe her a Christmas present or something.

We used the dip with other veggies the next night, then with chips, and finally I turned the remainder into a fabulous dressing. As someone who can't eat Ranch dressing? I was pretty sure I should give her my first born child. I haven't had Ranch dressing in years. And there are just times you want a nice creamy dressing. She gave me that. Forever indebted, original poster. Forever indebted.



Ingredients:

1 cup Sour Cream
3/4 cup Mayo (I used just under 3/4 cup. Exact measurements be darned!)
1 Tablespoon Parsley Flakes
1 Teaspoon Dill Weed
1 Teaspoon Sea Salt
1 1/2 Tablespoons Minced Onions

Other Utensils:
Bowl
Spoon


Directions:
Mix all ingredients
Taste
Love it
Decide to make a second batch

The original poster said to leave it in the fridge for 2 hours. I thought, psh, it's fabulous now. Guess what? over night? EVEN BETTER. She was right.

Pictured: 

Dill Dip with it's distance cousins eggplant and zucchini.

Tip: The original poster nailed it with the idea of using the low-fat sour cream and mayo. I would definitely stick to that if you're looking to keep any sort of healthiness to this recipe. It's tasty either way. I have made it enough times to tell you there's no difference there. And it's amazing. Each and every time. 

Dressing: Take a spoonful of the dip and a few splashes of milk (I use 1% but any should work) and whisk with a fork until you have the desired consistency. Trust me, it's worth the effort and delightful as a salad topping.